TREScoaching IN ENGLISH
When you are out of balance due to pregnancy, childbirth or parenthood, coaching can be a way to help you regain it. Especially when you experience these life-changing events in a foreign country, not having your family around, it can be confusing and complicated. Coaching can help you to experience less stress, find more balance and tranquillity so you can enjoy pregnancy and parenting more. This coaching is for Dutch and international couples.
I work as coach in my own practice but I also provide coaching in the St. Annahospital in Geldrop. I am a member of the coachingpool of ASML. Next to that I offer English Childbirthclasses at Viamama and prepare parenting classes in Weert. I am a mother of three children age 19, 16 and 10.
Therese; ‘In my work as an obstetrician I often had situations where I thought’ I wish I now had the time to have a very different conversation with you, it is not the medical complaint with which you come for this consultation but fear and uncertainty plays a much larger role here’
TRESCOACHING FOR EXPATS
As an international you are often not familiar to the Dutch care-system and this can lead to insecureness and anxiety. It is hard when family and friends are not around. Being in control of your life is possible until the moment that you become mom and dad; once you have a family you’ll have to learn to let go. There is a complex transition towards mother- and fatherhood in a very short time. Your relationship changes and a new cooperation will occur between the two of you. Beautiful, precious, emotional things happen but it is exhausting at the same time and experiencing unexpected negative feelings is not rare.
PREGNANCY AND MATERNITY
When you are pregnant, many things change. Your baby is developing rapidly and your body is changing. You ‘should’ feel happy but sometimes it is a period that brings a lot of uncertainty.
· Maybe you did not get pregnant easily and you worry if everything goes well
· You may have had a miscarriage and it is difficult to deal with this
· There are feelings of fear, stress or panic
· You are not looking forward to the delivery
· Your pregnancy is not as expected or there are complications
· You have experienced a negative or a traumatic birth experience
· Your relationship is not going well
· You deal with somber or depressive feelings during pregnancy or after delivery
· You have to deal with ‘patterns’ that are bothering you
The most important reason to be ‘in balance’ during your pregnancy is that you can then enter the new phase of life with confidence. Coaching can help you with this and offers you ‘tools’ when making changes. The period immediately after delivery is full of new experiences and emotions. You have become a parent. It is great to have your baby in your arms and enjoy it immensely. Hormonal changes can have a lot of effect on your psychological condition. You can feel the happiest mother in the world, but negative feelings can also arise. The first period can be pretty tiring, your nights are broken and you are still recovering from your delivery. Perhaps the delivery was very different than you thought. If you are breastfeeding, this requires extra energy. When the maternity nurse is no longer there, you can think ‘what happens now?’
NEGATIVE BIRTH EXPERIENCE
A delivery is an event with a lot of impact on you as parents. Perhaps everything has gone very differently than you thought. Even though your delivery was described as ‘spontaneous’ or ‘without complications’, it may have been a negative experience for you. Women often use the word ‘loss of control’ or ‘having failed’. Sometimes you have never experienced so much pain before.
A traumatic childbirth experience can change you as a woman in many ways. Sometimes not knowing that this can be related to the birth of your child. There is a period in your life before you have a child and there is one after you are mother. Sometimes you long for your uncomplicated life from before. With my experience as an obstetrician and coach, I can help you dealing with a negative birthexperience.
BACK TO WORK
As a (new) mother, a lot changes in your life. This can have effect on your work. When you think that you can continue the life you had before in the same way, there will be a moment when you realize that something has changed considerably. But you want to continue doing everything! Going to work again can be accompanied by feelings of guilt, shame and insecurity. As a mother you want to find the right balance between your work and family. This sometimes requires a reorganization; setting new priorities, gaining insight into where things go wrong, making choices, sometimes saying ‘no’. It is necessary to ‘manage’ your energy. For many mothers, the threshold is high to ask for help for themselves. Some young parents suffer from too much tension for too long, ignore physical complaints and think ‘I’ll manage’. In the meantime, they experience too much stress every day. When you get stuck in the new situation, or when you have trouble with the new rhythm, coaching can help you.
If you are better prepared for going back to work you are aware that you have to set priorities, keep investing in your relationship and create time for yourself. If you stay happy, yo will experience less stress, have more energy and the amount of burnouts in you as young employees with children will decrease. The advantage for your employer is that you stay happier and more motivated when things are going well at home with child(ren) and partner.
Together with the birth of your child the “birth of a mother” takes place. You undergo a complex transformation; from woman to mother. Your ‘new’ identity may be as drastic as the arrival of the baby. Being a mother is a challenging task. Now that your child is there, you are expected to simply pick everything up again. But something very important has happened in your life!
You have everything you want and yet you sometimes do not feel happy. Your life consists of things that ‘have to do’ and there is little time left for yourself. You are at the bottom of your own priority list. You lack peace, balance and fun. You want to be a good mother, partner, friend, and employee at the same time. You suffer from guilt and may feel that you have lost yourself. With coaching you can see that there can also be a ‘good enough mentality’. Not everything needs to be perfect and it has to do with re-organizing priorities; what do you really want?
You also encounter yourself in many ways in the education process. With coaching you get more insight into yourself, your partner, child and the situation that you are constantly running into. You learn how to break through annoying patterns, get more pleasure and trust in your role as a parent.
The transition to fatherhood has a lot of impact for a future dad. You enter a new phase of life in which a lot will change. The transition to parenthood already begins during pregnancy. Men and women do not react the same to this phase in which uncertainties and fears can play a role. You want to know what you can do to support your wife in pregnancy and during labour. When the baby is there, something very special has happened but at the same time you say goodbye to your old life. Your daily schedule is no longer the same, you are no longer the two of you, your relationship changes. It may even happen that the arrival of the baby dissolves you as partners. It’s a good thing to learn how you and your partner can help each other.
Coaching can help you to understand your new situation and you will look for blockades and possibilities yourself. The aim is to enter paternity in a balanced and well-prepared manner.
INDIVIDUAL PREGNANCY COURSE
Do you want to be well prepared for the delivery, but would you rather not have a course in a group for several evenings? Then the individual delivery course might be something for you. A delivery is so much more than just a birth. It is a unique, personal and emotional event and it is worth it to consider how to prepare best for this. During this course we discuss the birth step by step and you can ask any questions you want. We can reflect on what you specifically want to know and there is time to discuss your fear or uncertainty. In addition to the information about your delivery, I will show you how you can prepare yourself well for the pain and the contractions by means of relaxation and breathing exercises. Nice to do this together with your partner. The delivery course consists of two meetings of one and a half hours.
- KNOV (Koninklijke Nederlandse Organisatie van Verloskundigen)
- LKPZ (Landelijk Kenniscentrum Psychiatrie en Zwangerschap)
- Ingeschreven in Kwaliteits-register voor Verloskundigen
- BIG geregistreerd