TREScoaching IN ENGLISH
When you are not in balance due to pregnancy, childbirth or parenthood, coaching can be a way to help you regain it. When you experience these life-changing events in a foreign country, not having your family and friends around, it can be confusing and you can feel lost. Coaching can help you to experience less stress, find more balance and tranquillity so you can enjoy pregnancy and parenting more.
As a coach, I work in my own practice and I also provide coaching in the Annahospital in Geldrop. I am a member of the coachingpool of ASML. I also offer English Childbirthclasses on an individual base.
Thérèse; ‘In my work as an obstetrician I often had situations where I thought ’ I wish I had the time to have a different conversation with you, it is not the medical complaint you have but anxiety and uncertainty seems to play a much larger role’
TRESCOACHING FOR EXPATS
As an international you are often not familiar to the Dutch care-system and this can lead to insecureness and anxiety. It is tough when family and friends are not around. There is a complex transition towards mother- and fatherhood in a very short time. Your relationship changes and a new cooperation will occur between the two of you. Beautiful, precious, emotional things happen but it is exhausting at the same time and experiencing unexpected negative feelings is not rare.
PREGNANCY AND MATERNITY
When you are pregnant, many things change in a short time. Your baby is developing rapidly and your body is changing. You ‘should’ feel happy but sometimes it is a period that brings a lot of uncertainty.
· Maybe you did not get pregnant easily and you worry if everything goes well
· You may have had a miscarriage and it is difficult to deal with this
· There are feelings of anxiety, stress or panic
· You are not looking forward to the delivery
· Your pregnancy is not as expected or there are complications
· You have experienced a negative or a traumatic birth experience
· Your relationship is not going well
· You deal with negative or depressive feelings during pregnancy or after delivery
· You have to deal with ‘patterns’ that are bothering you
The most important reason to be ‘in balance’ during your pregnancy is that you can then enter the new phase of life with confidence. Coaching can help you with this and offers you ‘tools’. The period immediately after delivery is full of new experiences and emotions. At once you have become a parent. It is great to finally hold your baby. Hormonal changes can have a lot of effect on your psychological condition. You can feel the happiest mother in the world, but also negative feelings can arise. The first period can be pretty tiring and you are still recovering from your delivery. Perhaps the delivery was different than you expected. If you are breastfeeding, this requires extra energy. When the maternity nurse is no longer there, you can think ‘what happens now?’
NEGATIVE BIRTH EXPERIENCE
A delivery is an event with a lot of impact on you as parents. Perhaps everything has gone very differently than you thought. Even though your delivery was described as ‘spontaneous’ or ‘without complications’, it may have been a negative experience for you. Women often use the word ‘loss of control’ or ‘having failed’. Sometimes you have never experienced so much pain.
A traumatic childbirth experience can change you as a woman in many ways. Sometimes not knowing that this can be related to the birth of your child. There is a period in your life befóre you have a child and there is one after you are mother. Sometimes you long for your uncomplicated life that you had before. With my experience as an obstetrician and coach, I can help you dealing with a negative birthexperience.
BACK TO WORK
As a (new) mother, a lot changes in your life. This can have effect on your work. When you think that you can continue the life you had before in the same way, there will be a moment when you realize that a lot of things have changed considerably. But you want to continue doing everything! Back to work can be accompanied by feelings of guilt, shame and insecurity. As a mother you want to find the right balance between your work and family. This sometimes requires a reorganization; setting new priorities, gaining insight into where things go wrong, making choices, sometimes saying ‘no’. It is necessary to ‘manage’ your energy. For many mothers, the threshold is high to ask for help. Some young parents suffer from too much tension for too long, ignore physical complaints and think ‘I’ll manage’. In the meantime, they experience too much stress every day. When you get stuck in the new situation, or when you have trouble with the new rhythm, coaching can help you.
If you are better prepared for going back to work you are aware that you have to set priorities, keep investing in your relationship and create time for yourself. If you stay happy, you will experience less stress, have more energy and the amount of burnouts in young employees with children will decrease. The advantage for your employer is that you stay happier and more motivated when things are going well at home with child(ren) and partner.
Together with the birth of your child the “birth of a mother” takes place. You undergo a complex transformation; from woman to mother. Your ‘new’ identity may be as drastic as the arrival of the baby. Being a mother is a challenging task. Now that your child is there, you are expected to simply pick everything up again. But something very important has happened in your life!
You have everything you want and yet sometimes you don’t feel happy. Your life consists of things that ‘have to be done’ and there is little time left for yourself. You are the last one on your own priority list. You lack peace, balance and fun. You want to be a good mother, partner, friend, and employee at the same time. You suffer from guilt and may feel that you have lost yourself. With coaching you can see that there can also be a ‘good enough mentality’. Not everything needs to be perfect; re-organize priorities; what do you really want?
You also encounter yourself in many ways in the education process. With coaching you get more insight into yourself, your partner, child and the situation that you are constantly running in to. You learn how to break through annoying patterns, get more pleasure and trust in your role as a parent.
The transition to fatherhood has a lot of impact for a future dad. You enter a new phase of life in which a lot will change. The transition to parenthood already begins during pregnancy. Men and women do not react the same to this phase in which uncertainties and fears can play a role. You want to know what you can do to support your wife in pregnancy and during labour. When the baby is there, something very special has happened but at the same time you say goodbye to your old life. Your daily schedule is no longer the same, it is no longer just the two of you, your relationship changes. It may even happen that the arrival of the baby creates more distance between you as partners. It’s a good thing to learn how you and your partner can help each other.
Coaching can help you to understand your new situation and you will look for blockades and possibilities yourself. The aim is to enter paternity in a balanced and well-prepared manner.
INDIVIDUAL PREGNANCY COURSE
Do you want to be well prepared for the delivery, but not having courses in a large group? Then the individual childbirth class might be something for you. A delivery is so much more than just a birth. It is a unique, personal and emotional event and it is worth it to consider how to prepare best for this. During this course we discuss the birth step by step and you can ask any questions you want. We can reflect on what you specifically want to know and there is time to discuss how you feel about it. In addition to the information about your delivery, I will show you how you can prepare yourself well, for the pain and the contractions by relaxation and breathing exercises. It is special to do this together with your partner. The childbirthclass consists of two meetings of 1,5 hours.
6095 AE Baexem (spreekuur)
email; info at trescoaching.nl
Loverstraat 8, Nederweert Praktijk verloskundigen Midden-Limburg
Elke dinsdag; Ceramlaan 12, Eindhoven, praktijkruimte Lichtstad Verloskundigen, gebouw SGE
Elke donderdagmiddag; Lein Vrouwenzorg, Nieuwstraat 54, Son.
- KNOV (Koninklijke Nederlandse Organisatie van Verloskundigen)
- LKPZ (Landelijk Kenniscentrum Psychiatrie en Zwangerschap)
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